Anything & Everything

October 17, 2016

What’s In A Name? A Lot More Than You Think

Filed under: Blogging,Daily Life,Musings — Susan Morgan @ 12:56 pm

Time to share a personal pet peeve. If I’m repeating myself, please be patient.

impaired-symbols-6311909I HATE the word disabled. It implies deficiency and helplessness. It promotes a mindset of need. I contend that those we label as “disabled” are neither without defenses or in need of much assistance to manage daily life. I wonder how people with disabling issues feel – do they chafe, as I do, at being being categorized? Or do they simply accept and go about their lives?

Yes I do have an impairment —in my case it’s visual, for others it may be any number of things — normal intelligence, physical problems, or psychological issues. I understand there are serious, life altering disabilities out there that people have to cope with on a daily basis. Like others, I’ve lived (and fought against) this all my life.

Still I do not consider myself disabled. I’m able, just fighting a different challenge.

One that’s more obvious at times than I would like. Recently I faced a situation where I felt singled out in an online social work class I’m taking. The instructor spent class time talking about the Office of Disability Services, and referenced a legally blind student, saying “she” could get all kinds of help there.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was out of class that day, an excused absence to attend a funeral for a childhood friend’s 27-year-old niece who had died unexpectedly. When I watched the recorded class I was mortified — the comments brought to he surface all the things I have fought so hard to overcome.

Being labelled. Being exposed as deficient in some way (as if other students can’t tell my glasses are a mile thick and I have to lean close to the screen sometimes). Being forced to think about an issue I thought long gone.

It’s this experience that has made me think about the language we use to describe people — to put them in piles with a neat label. I for one resent it. I admit (reluctantly) that I have a visual impairment, but I refuse to call myself disabled.

Food for thought or aimless rant?

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March 8, 2016

When It’s Your Turn

Filed under: Daily Life,Family,Health,Musings,Parenting — Susan Morgan @ 2:00 pm
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1464I know I’m not alone in caring for an aging parent, in my case my almost 82-year-old Dad, a former engineer who was married 54 years to my mother and only now lives on his own.

Turns out, increasing numbers of us are finding ourselves in the role of parent to our own parents. Some of use have nearly raised our own children, while others have never had them but find themselves caring for an aging parent, family member or friend. Surveys put the number at 70% of working adults who are caring for one, or more, aging family member.

Like all of them, I never in a million years thought this was how it would be. My parents were strong and capable people, vibrantly alive and engaged in adding something to this world. My whole life they have been a source of support and (at times unwanted) advice. When sickness came they were able to fight it off with gusto for years before disease got firm hold.

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February 17, 2016

Understanding The Difference Between Expectations And Reality

Filed under: Blogging,Daily Life,Musings — Susan Morgan @ 9:29 am

stop-expecting-300x300I expect a lot, I readily admit this, though I find the term, “high maintenance” supremely insulting. A way to put down a woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to tell you. Luckily the man I share my life with understands my expectations (for myself as much as anyone), appreciates it (can you believe that?) and admits to benefiting from it.

Having high expectations can ruin you, if you let it. The ability to distinguish between reality and your expectation is key to keeping yourself from being disappointed. Be realistic in what you expect… perfection is great in your dreams but pretty hard to achieve in real life. Get as close as you can. Understand that things can, and do, go wrong sometimes and that’s okay. Greatness can still be possible too, just not the greatness you expected.

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February 13, 2016

Got The Gossip Urge? Bite Your Tongue… Hard.

Filed under: Daily Life,General Stuff,Musings — Susan Morgan @ 11:30 am

Admit to it or not, we all do it. Gossip that is.

gossipMaybe it’s to distract ourselves from our own troubles. Maybe it’s to remind ourselves that we are not alone in facing the travails of life. Maybe the fact that gossip is frowned upon makes it that much more alluring — who doesn’t like to be privy to special knowledge about other people?

Just think about how Hollywood thrives on gossip. Science, as you might expect, is studying gossip — using it as a way to understand what’s normal for a particular culture, to encourage cooperation and build bonds (unless you’re the subject of the gossip, of course). They suggest gossip as a way of learning — which comes into play when you’re new on the job and need to learn the lay of the land. Fast.

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February 3, 2016

What To Know About The Quiet Ones

Filed under: Daily Life,Musings,Writing — Susan Morgan @ 7:05 am

I’ve written before about how  I truly think the meek deserve to inherit the Earth, as they put up with all the self centered foolishness of the rest of us. Quietly, without complaInt. Today I’m focusing on the quiet souls of this Earth who go about their business without a sound.

Quiet-people-have-the-loudest-minds.I am one of these quiet souls, have been my whole life. As a chold my mother (bold and brash and beautiful) chided me for being so shy, having nothing to say. I never could make the change she wanted, I was not wired that way. It’s not that I don’t have opinions, or that I think they are not valid — it’s just I have no urge to blure them out.

Ask and I’ll glady share, don’t and you’ll never know.

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January 6, 2016

Bad Times Are Good Teachers

Filed under: Blogging,Daily Life,Musings,Writing — Susan Morgan @ 5:56 pm

bad-times-bcf71bThere are times in life when everybody wins. Everybody but you.

One of the hardest, loneliest of these is where a “win-win” is joyfully proclaimed and celebrated by everyone, except you. Whatever misgivings or concerns you might have are brushed aside, not even making the radar. No one sees what you do. The siren song of victory is calling to them all, no dark clouds in sight for anyone, but you.

If there is a lesson in the bad times in my own personal journey, I’ve yet to find it. Perhaps I’m a slow learner. Or a hopeless pessimist. Or lack true faith that things are unfolding as they were meant to.

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December 23, 2015

Good, For Goodness Sake

Filed under: Musings — Susan Morgan @ 6:00 pm

It’s not often that we get the chance to do something good, really truly good, for someone. I got that chance today and I’m the happiest person alive.

Give yourself bonus points if you’ve done a kindness for someone you don’t know. Double bonus if you get no credit whatsoever for the deed. A lack of recognition does not diminish the deed or the feeling that comes from it one bit. In fact, in my humble view, it makes it better.

Especially fulfilling is when the recipient is a child. Who can resist that urge to help? You’d have to have a heart of stone to ignore the needs of an innocent who is young and wanting.

What you learn when you do good is just how amazing it feels. It puts a smile on your face, a lightness in your step (not to mention your heart) and gives you a wonderful feeling of cooperating with the forces of good in the world.

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December 18, 2015

It’s Up To You

Filed under: Daily Life,Life,Musings — Susan Morgan @ 11:00 am

you-decide0011Like many people, I spend more time than I should feeling downright sorry for myself. My burden is too heavy, I think, though in truth it is no worse (and a whole lot easier) than the troubles faced by others. These days I’m often uncertain, stressed and in demand, worrying about things that have not, may never, happen. Of course, as you do, I realize that no one person has any more “life stress” than anybody else.

Through it all, I long for a the time where all is well and I am free. Anybody else?

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December 13, 2015

I Miss Being Owned By A Cat

Filed under: Daily Life,Family,Musings — Susan Morgan @ 1:22 pm

Those of you who are cat lovers will probably understand this statement (and the feeling) immediately. Cats (in truth, all pets) can own you.

Although they are known to be aloof, skittish and terribly prideful creatures, it’s been my experience that certain felines can also be the most loyal, most steadfast and loving of companions. Once they find you worthy, a cat will love you with all it has for as long as it lives.

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December 3, 2015

Enough Already

Filed under: General Stuff,Life,Musings — Susan Morgan @ 3:03 pm
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Another mass shooting is in the news. No one is saying the “t” word yet, but things are getting clearer as I write this. It was San Bernardin0 California this time, a holiday gathering where something went wrong. Terribly wrong.

shall-not-be-infringedGun control is again in the headlines, another example of attention being misdirected, focusing on one detail and missing the big picture. Politicians and candidates on both sides are making scripted statements and shaking their fists. Emotions are running high. Real people are hurting in the worst way possible. The rest of us are helpless and raging at the senseless, stupid waste of it all. Wondering how long it will be before someone we love is caught up in a senseless act of violence with weapons meant for war that have gotten in the wrong hands.

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