There are times in life when everybody wins. Everybody but you.
One of the hardest, loneliest of these is where a “win-win” is joyfully proclaimed and celebrated by everyone, except you. Whatever misgivings or concerns you might have are brushed aside, not even making the radar. No one sees what you do. The siren song of victory is calling to them all, no dark clouds in sight for anyone, but you.
If there is a lesson in the bad times in my own personal journey, I’ve yet to find it. Perhaps I’m a slow learner. Or a hopeless pessimist. Or lack true faith that things are unfolding as they were meant to.
Think about it, How much learning (not academic learning but life lessons) do you accomplish when things are going great? Probably just enough to get by, if that. The rest of the time you’re too busy enjoying the good stuff… happiness, fulfillment, accomplishment — to spare a thought for much else. And why not? You’ve earned it.
The Twilight Zone has an episode that teaches us that unending good times get boring. There’s no challenge, though I wouldn’t mind a short, 6 month say, stint of that before returning to normal. How about you?
Besides surviving them, bad times, life disappointments and the like test what we’ve made of, deep down, inside where no one sees. They show us what’s important and what can go. We do things we never thought possible because we have no choice but to move forward. Hanging on isn’t easy; but then it’s not supposed to be.
- It helps you have patience for people’s foibles, because you see that you have so many of your own.
- It helps you be kinder to strangers, because you realize many of the worst burdens are carried unseen.
- It helps you be more accepting of mistakes, because you realize raging, yelling, screaming and crying have no effect.
Sometimes adults (that’s us) act like a bunch of children, ranting and screaming and throwing fits for what WE want. Bad times show us that our wants aren’t really a factor in the scheme of this big, wide world. We are egotistical fools to think they should be. No wonder we get disappointed, hurt and overwhelmed so often.
Bad times are that reminder, up close and in your face, that you are not in charge. That life has a way of not giving you what you want, of testing and testing again; before working things out in a way that’s better than anything you could have imagined. If you let it.
Just for the record, I’m R.E.A.D.Y.