Nobody likes farewells. Sudden ones, or ones you see coming.
I remember the first time someone close to me passed from this life, I was lucky enough to be college age. And I remember thinking how strange it was that the world went on undisturbed while my world had been stopped, shattered and turned on its head.
More experience has brought no wisdom, no magic words. It hurts as much today as it did then, the sudden ripping of one person from your life. You didn’t see it coming, you could do nothing to change or prevent it, awareness and mourning are all you get.
I hate it now as I did then, I rage now as I did then.
It always amazes me that grief like this hurts so badly yet leaves no visible wound. For the amount of pain such losses cause, you’d expect a good scar, one that takes as long to heal as the one inside (i.e. never). Instead, farewells put that mark inside on our hearts where the person, pet or past lives on. In memories we might share but that we own in every way possible.
Here those we’ve said good-bye to live on. Happy. Free. At their best and strongest.
It is a place we can see, hear and feel but never touch. To visit is a sort of sweet, self induced agony. Breathing hurts. Tears sting and a lump gathers in your throat. But you can’t go back, no matter how very badly you want to.
If there’s any comfort to be taken from the good-bye it might be this. That another person on this Earth mattered enough to have their passing leave such a wound. That they mattered so much. That your memories are happy ones, that leave you smiling even today. The best we can hope for I guess.
Good bye to you.