There are times in life when we don’t get what we want. A job. A date. An acceptance to the right school. Little kids have temper tantrums, kick, scream, cry or pout when denied something they want. As we get older, we learn that’s not appropriate anymore, but we still have to deal with the sting of disappointment.
When you get kicked in the teeth (or perhaps somewhere more personal and painful) by life, it’s hard to think straight. You’re so very hurt, battered, a bit broken maybe. You’re trying hard not to cry or be childish about this latest setback (disappointment, twist of Fate, God’s plan) handed to you. But it’s hard.
It hurts, and it’s the effort to avoid having those you love feel this kind of pain that’s often behind all that helicopter parenting. Disappointment stinks. Being told no hurts. Denial cuts deep. As bad as this all feels when it happens to you, it’s that much worse watching a child you love go through it.
All you can do is console and offer what comfort you can. It’s a helpless feeling. It’s hard to imagine that the “No” you’ve just received can be any kind of favor, but it can. It takes an option off the table. Narrows your focus. Points you in the right direction. Removes a distraction.
As bad as it feels, as broken down and unfairly treated as you feel as you face the struggle to right yourself and go on (as you must); don’t lose heart. Here’s what you hold onto no matter what “No,” life hands you.
- Your Unique and Special Talent — whatever it might be.
- Your Memories and the afterglow of good times, good laughs.
- Your Free Will to choose your response and direction going forward.
- Your capacity to laugh, appreciate beauty, be happy in your heart, for real.
- True love or friendship.
and last, but most important of all, there is always, always someone in this world worse off than you. Life can be pretty harsh and unyielding sometimes, so it’s hard to keep things like this in mind. It’s easy to feel sad and sorry for ourselves, to wallow in our hurt, to curse the injustice.