Admittedly anger is a hard emotion to control. It doesn’t think, it acts. Plunges ahead with no thought for consequences or feelings. Yells loud enough for everybody to hear. It does not care. It wants to hurt another in the worst way possible.
In my life I’ve known red-hot anger — and given in to it. In those moments I actually “saw” red, which I’d always dismissed as a myth. Now I believe it. And I know the feeling of being under the control of strong emotions. Every cell in my body burned and I was moving before I realized it. Anger led me, I didn’t care about consequences, who saw me or what they thought.
When anger like that takes hold… it’s scary to think about what can happen, and you begin to understand why there is so much violence in this world. Too many give into anger, let it rule them… and sometimes ruin the rest of their lives.
As for the result my own experience being driven by rage and nothing else — lets just say the police weren’t called, no bodily harm was done and I considered the chance to vent a sort of cosmic gift during a very sad time. I’ll give you that my display of temper was momentarily satisfying, though in the end it changed nothing and left me feeling… well, sort of… stupid.
My best advice for dealing with anger of this kind (I’m no expert, just another traveler on the road) is to burn the emotion off in as healthy a way as you can. Turn your attention elsewhere. Get outside. Move. Have the imaginary conversation in your head, just not out loud.
There are proven tips you can use to help manage more serious anger issues; my suggestions are for dealing with a sudden burst of raw temper. I’m hoping they prove useful, keep you from giving vent to a destructive emotion that leaves an awful mess you’ll end up having to clean up. Apologizing for an angry outburst is no easy thing.
While in the grips of your temper, here’s what not to do. Do not send a text, email or voice message to a soul. Not the object of your anger or anyone who knows them. Tell your dog (you know pets can keep secrets, right?) if you have to say things out loud, but resist the urge to vent your anger all around. It will do no good, stir things up for no reason and leave you looking small and petty.
Sleep on it.
This last is key my friends, a good nights sleep will put a whole new perspective on things. It will give some distance, a bit of cooling off time. Time enough for you to get yourself in hand, realize anger can make you look like the bad guy, that harsh words can never be unheard and that holding your tongue will, in the end, help you avoid a good many of life’s dramas.