As I’ve said before, I hate this time of year. It’s full of endings and good-byes and I’m no good at those.
Today I feel this emotion most keenly as my children are all back at school… the house is silent, empty, lifeless. We’re not all sleeping under the same roof at night anymore, there are fewer at the supper table and it’s hard to ignore the reality that the days of children sleeping (living) under this roof are slipping by, all too fast.
Just like the days of summer. Gone too soon.
No one likes for things to end, me least of all. I have totally loved this summer… the easy, casual schedule, the warmth and company, the adventures and stories we’ll be telling from now on. Just as I’ve loved my children’s growing years… their high voices asking questions, those little hands holding tight, the knowledge that I could shelter and shield them from the worst of life.
It’s so hard to let go. So very hard.
Unfortunately changes come with unsettling regularity in life, so like most people, I’ve learned to endure them. Endure is the perfect word to use here, for it’s only after a few strange, unsettled days… that feeling of missing something important… that things get easier and you adjust to the new normal of your life.
You can’t stop these changes, believe me if you could, I’d have figured out how. No amount of weeping, worrying and wishing is powerful enough to keep a change from coming… so don’t waste your time or effort. Instead, enjoy every single one of those precious moments to the hilt. They’ll be gone all too soon.
Knowing you made the most of them will matter then.
Eventually you’ll have to face that morning when your babies are off about their lives and you’re alone in a too quiet house. You’ve been left behind. If you’re lucky, in those moments you realize that the change you wanted so hard to avoid might not be all bad.
In my new world there’s no more toaster on the kitchen counter all day. There’s plenty of coffee in the morning, no rushing to get the last cup. I get to play my music as loud as I like, without comment from anyone. What’s more, neither our lab or two cats, pampered as they are, interrupt work to ask for lunch to be made or for money to get ice cream.
So not all bad.