There. I’ve said it and I’m not taking it back.
In fact, I’m not sure I ever liked that “first day” even as a kid. I’ve never been good with change, so starting new things isn’t especially easy for me. Never was. Oh sure, I loved the new stuff, the clothes and fresh, unused supplies, but I hated (still do) the end to the best season of the year… summer.
Once I’d graduated from college, the back to school craziness passed me by, until I had my own children. They’ve provided me with many “first days” that are etched in my memory — keeping my dislike of the start of school season alive and well. Who knew it would be so hard to send your children off into that big, wide world? I was not prepared for how tough all the “firsts” were going to be — first grade, middle school, high school, and the toughest of them all, college.
You’d think I’d be good at it now. I’m not.
Tonight, as in years past, I’ll have a hand cramp and a headache from squinting to read the instructions on a ridiculous number of forms to be filled out. I’ll wonder at the waste, why technology hasn’t come to this part of the process as I provide details no one’s ever going to use.
And then I’ll be left in peace to manage my own sadness at the fading of summer. Like many, I dread the colder temperatures and shortening days, the holiday preparation and stress, the inconvenience of bad weather and the total lack of flowers or anything growing outside. If I had my way, we’d skip from fall directly to spring.
Oh sure, there are times when a fresh snowfall looks gorgeous on tree limbs, but then it melts and you’re stuck with brown/gray sticks, black pavement (you hope) and glaring white snow.
And it’s cold. Very. Very. Cold. Say good-bye to the gentle breeze that’s comfortably cooling and hello to wind chill. No more windows open or going out without a coat. No sounds of life, just the wind and the trees and the sleet on the windows.
Of course all that’s still months away. Once this “first day” thing is behind me for the year, I plan on enjoying the fall… the amazing colors of leaves and sky, the total lack of bugs, the feeling of being given a fresh start… these are all good things. My mind understands this of course, but my heart can’t help looking ahead to what’s coming after all that color and holiday cheer.