Anything & Everything

April 13, 2012

At war with stay at home moms

Filed under: Blogging,Musings — Susan Morgan @ 7:30 pm
Tags: ,

Stuff like this makes me crazy… and I wasn’t far from that anyway, so you can imagine where I am now.

By now you’ve all heard CNN reporter Hilary Rosen’s comments about Ann Romney “never having worked a day in her life” and Ann’s response, offended yet dignified defending her choice and reminding Ms. Rosen that money isn’t the only struggle people face in this life.

We’re all about defending a woman’s right “to choose” in this country — except if that choice is to put aside whatever professional dreams she might have and raise children, provide a home. For some reason other women don’t like that choice.

And they make no secret of it, as Ms. Rosen did, when the slur came so readily to her lips. How can a stay at home mother POSSIBLY have the wisdom to advise her husband on women’s issues?

What no one realizes is that we stay at home moms have been fighting this “war” for a long time. As long as we’ve been home we’ve endured the disapproval and dismissal the modern world sends our way. The persistent perception that if you’re a woman who is at home raising children you must be lazy, backward, inept. It’s true that our choice earns us no paycheck, accrues no sick days, makes no deposits to a 401K. There will be no career achievement, no status, no glory. Our work is undervalued, invisible and easily overlooked.

Only if things go horribly wrong do we get any mention at all — the blame for what must have been lacking. “Where was the Mother,” people wonder.

What’s infuriating is how patronizing this whole issue has become. Ann Romney is hip deep in defenders now, even the White House, yet no one will admit that Ms. Rosen struck a nerve and voiced a thought that’s all too common. Stay at home mom’s aren’t working, aren’t contributing value, aren’t suffering like the rest of working women. Excuse me, Ms. Rosen, even if you have your own 2 children, who are you to judge another parent’s choice? You say you have no judgements but then clearly make them on those women who do stay home. Make your point about Mitt Romney’s ability to relate to women by keeping the focus on the candidate and his record — Ann Romney, in case you’ve missed it, isn’t running for anything.

Even Rosen’s apology, when it came, was lukewarm and not all that convincing — inflaming an issue that she is eager to end, the so called “faux war against stay at home moms”. Trouble is, you’ve already declared war on us with the offensive and divisive comment. Now those who you’ve insulted, dismissed and belittled will respond, most likely by choosing a candidate for President in 2012.


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