What if he was your son, your younger brother, your grandson… someone you knew?

It’s the one thing that seems to be missed in all the Penn State firings and student demonstrations in favor of a beloved coach — no one seems to have spared much thought for the victims, those boys whose bodies were violated… whose innocence and sense of power over themselves was taken… whose lives are tainted by what happened, maybe forever.

In a sad, sick repeat of the sex abuse scandals of the Catholic Church, it appears another  venerable institution has put its own needs before the needs that should matter most — the victim of the worst kind of crime.

World Class Hospitals, Sub Standard Care

Funny how just when you think you understand something, life has a way of challgenging what you think you know.

Within the last month a sudden change in my vision has given me a whole new perspective on health care. As a family member of patients who’ve been hospitalized for very serious conditions a number of times, I’ve seen it all. Good, heads up medical care in fine facilities, and lackluster performance, less that sterile conditions, not to mention downright mistakes in health care settings trumpeted as some of the best in the world. Doesn’t make sense — you’d like to think the best hospitals would be the best in everything.

In my own case, I went to my local ophthalmologist first, to be examined and told that he couldn’t see anything but also couldn’t say what was causing my very definite vision loss. A symptom they could measure readily enough, but could not explain. Naturally being the informed patient and activist that I am, I took matters into my own hands and called on the best to be had… in Boston but known through all the world.

In A Season Known For Its Color, Pink Is Looking None Too Pretty

October is a month that’s always been near and dear to my heart. There are some special anniversaries to start the month, my two daughters were born on the 3rd and the 11th, my only god-daughter on the 24th. I met the love of my life at a Columbus Day party held by friends. And of course it’s the last truly beautiful month of the year with all the incredible reds and yellows and oranges against a clear, vibrantly blue sky that’s unique to the season.

It’s also the month that’s become inexorably linked with an incredibly devastating disease… breast cancer. When it comes to cancer, I can speak as both a patient and family member/friend to those who battle on, unsure but undaunted. I know the fear the mere word “cancer” can strike in the heart, I’ve waited the long, anxious days for the results of a biopsy on which everything rested. I’ve googled and researched and waited on specialists. I’ve seen first hand how our oh-so-advanced “treatment” works by ravaging the body (not to mention day-to-day life) of the patient in a constant attempt to stay one step ahead of disease… to beat it back, and beat it back again. It’s a suffering as intense and all-consuming as anything you might imagine.

Work At Home Creatives: 5 Tips To Stay Motivated

One of the challenges of being a freelance creative is coping with the inevitable case of burnout or lack of motivation that we’ve all faced at one time or another. Today’s technology has made working from home a reality for many of us, but the down side is a physical isolation that deprives us of office mates we can turn to for motivation, inspiration, or plain old comic relief.

When it comes to burnout, home-based creatives are at a distinct disadvantage as our companions are pets or children who have no interest in helping us. Drawing from my own experience as an at home creative, here are five ways to banish burnout and keep yourself motivated.

Don’t Blame The Rhetoric Or The Guns For The Actions Of A Madman

Like everyone, I was shaken by the Arizona shootings over last weekend and the sudden, senseless nature of the crime. And like all of you, I’m praying for the injured, especially U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords, who quite miraculously, appears to be doing well, despite being shot in the head at point blank range.

Today there’s also an article on another set of victims in all this — Jared Lee Loughner’s parents. Reports say they’re devastated, wondering where they failed and truly grieving for the Tucson victims. These two people are hurting in the worst way a parent can… living a nightmare that has no escape… ever. While you might be mad at them, wonder why they didn’t do something about their son, remember we don’t know that. You can at least admire the Loughners for NOT being out there making public statements until now… they’re going through a painful personal hell and are only today facing down cameras and up to the minute coverage.

It’s also become clear in the days since the shooting that while Loughner scared a lot of people and caused a lot of trouble, he never set off just the right combination of bells to be stopped. He was someone who needed help in a desperate way yet went unnoticed. Neighbors and classmates sensed something wasn’t right, but you can’t lock someone up for being difficult.

Parenting: A Tough Job That Only Gets Harder

When I signed on to this parenting thing all those years ago I had no idea what I was getting into. Most people don’t, I suppose.

But it wasn’t until yesterday that I had the misfortune to experience one of the absolute worst parts of being a parent… watching a child you love with your whole heart be hurt by the world. And though a part of me longs to join the ranks of “helicopter parents” out there… I can’t. It’s just not in me, and my practical, world-weary self can only hope that my child will be better off in the end if I resist the impulse.

Still it’s so hard to watch and be able to do nothing.

When they’re little you think being a parent is the hardest thing you’ve ever done… you’re stressed and sleep deprived and utterly responsible for this little soul who depends on you for absolutely everything. You travel with a small baggage train and your schedule is dictated by something not much bigger than a Thanksgiving turkey. Everything you ever thought about yourself and your role in the world is changed. You’re convinced you’ll never worry more or work harder for anything in your life. You know you’ve never loved like you love this beautiful child and you hold on tight to those little hands.

Surely there has never been a more beautiful, more remarkable, more accomplished child in all the world?

Then comes the time when they let go… they have to it seems, but you wish those fairy tale years could go on forever. Suddenly they can do for themselves… they don’t need you in that same way anymore, they bound down the driveway to the school bus without looking back and you’re glad for that. You take pride in it. Your baby has become a charmingly innocent little person who sponges up knowledge, experiences and all the best of possibilities.

My 20 Questions For God

Hold on tight, here’s a glimpse into a writer’s mind.

Assuming that you believe in a higher power… if you were ever given the chance to have a sit down with the Almighty (or whatever name you prefer), an undisturbed bit of time that you might use in any way you wanted, what would you do?

The answers are probably as different as the people reading this. Being the nosy Nellie that I am, I’d be asking questions. Only when I started writing them down as I waited for my flu shot a few weeks back, did I find I came up with twenty… at least to start.

In Case You’re Wondering, America Still Beats Anywhere Else

As readers of this blog know, my parents just celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary with an incredible party and a top of the line cruise around the Mediterranean with visits to some of the world’s most fabulous places. Places many of us would enjoy seeing in person, and my Mom and Dad certainly did.

At some points on the trip they were the only English-speaking people about, and my Mom was taken aback by the language skills of everyone they met. As soon my parents were identified as Americans, the speaker would switch to flawless English… one of several languages they could speak. As someone with absolutely no faculty for languages (even pig latin), this is cool.

A Golden Anniversary Toast…

Earlier this month I had the honor, along with my brother, to give a toast at our parent’s 50th anniversary party. It was a wonderful night with friends and family and lots of laughs.

I’m reposting the text of the toast here, in case my parents would like to read it in a moment of leisure. Of course anyone who finds themselves in need of an anniversary toast for a unique couple who’ve stood the test of time, feel free to copy and adapt to your needs.

So here it is…

Hello everyone, we wanted to take a minute to thank you all for joining us tonight to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of our Mom and Dad.

It’s true, 50 years ago today Carol Ann Cronan was the bride of Frank Donlan at St. Francis de Sales church in Charlestown. On that day, they promised to love, honor and cherish each other, and they certainly have done that over the years.

When we were growing up we used to hear a lot of stories from when our parents were first married. One of our favorites was about how Dad decided that Mom really needed to learn to drive now that they lived in the wilds of Billerica.

It’s Time For The Peaceful Majority To Stand Up, Be Counted, Be Heard.

One of my Dad’s favorite sayings is, “Even a blind pig (some say squirrel) can find an acorn once in a while.” Here’s a perfect example of just what that bit of parental wisdom means… a spam email that hits on the truth… and hits it hard.

The email is said to be the work of Dr. Emanuel Tanay, a psychiatrist of some standing and respect and is titled A Germans View on Islam. In case you have yet to see it, the essay makes the point that pre WWII, the majority of German people viewed the Natzis as “fools” and without knowing it, stood aside while the fools took over everything. By the time the population realized… it was too late and the end had come.

The reader is encouraged to make the comparison to today’s Muslim, the “religion of peace” as we’re often told. And while many people (myself included) agree that the vast majority of Muslims want to exist in peace, we also must recognize that there are fanatics, a vocal and determined minority, who have taken over positions where they speak for the silent, peace-loving, majority.